Hey, 2017... How YOU Doin'

HELLO 2017! YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!

2016 was a dumpster fire of a year, wasn't it?

I hope your past year was filled with joyous occasions, personal victories over great challenges, and ordering new items at restaurants that did not fill you with regret about not just picking the dish you normally get. I'm still kicking myself over a salad-over-sandwich choice at Panera from two months ago.
If 2016 wasn't brimming with these wonderful things, I hope you are starting 2017 with a sigh of relief.

My apologies for being absent all of last year. For some reason, I couldn't figure out much to write that seemed worth anyone’s time to read. But never fear. I am over that frustration and  I am going to write more this year.  Even if it is boring and short and totally not worth your time. It’s happening. GET PUMPED FOR MEDIOCRITY.

In fact, writing more is one of my intentions for the new year. That's right: intentions. Not resolutions. I rarely resolve. Too much pressure. However, I *intend* with abandon. Thus, Tearing Toast is proud to present Suano's Intentions of 2017…

• Write more. I had originally planned to make this more specific, requiring one post a week. For now, I'm keeping it vague. If one post a week works out, all the better!)
• Drink more water. This intention derives directly from the fact that I am currently in an office that is located directly across the hall from the bathroom. Fun fact: I also now know the digestive patterns of all of my coworkers.
• Keep up my regular journaling. I started this last year. I had hoped that this would lead to more blog posts. In practice, my personal journal is a collection of rants and pettiness and grudges. Despite not working out for blog posts, it’s been cathartic so I want to keep it up. Plus, you never want to lose track of your enemies.
• Eat more oatmeal. Given my disdain for lumpy, icky textures, this maybe the hardest intention to do.
• Go to sleep with no dirty dishes in the sink. I can already see myself twisting this one around. Well, if the dirty dishes are on the COUNTER, they aren't technically in the sink...
• Do 15 minutes of cleaning each day. Supposedly this can lead to maintaining a spic-and-span household without marathon cleaning sessions.
• Run 365 miles this year. I will get to this once the weather in my town warms up to sub-zero wind chill, hopefully before April.

I think I have about a 30% chance of actually living out these intentions, which is fine. Again, how much less damaging to one's psyche is it to fail at an intention, as opposed to a resolution? If thinking about setting resolutions make your stomach churn, try framing them as intentions. I'm telling you, it works. Me and my calm digestive system can attest to that.

What things do you want to intend for your 2017? Let's make this the best year yet!¹

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1 Explanation: I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos lately and keep seeing those Weight Watchers commercials with Oprah fist pumping over pasta and power walking her dogs. A side effect has been an invasion of my internal monologue by intense optimism. I'm sure it will go away eventually.^↩