Pil-Low and Behold

Since I can't sleep, I have decided to do something productive and provide the public with the valuable information of the 14 pillow combinations I have tested. For optimal sinus drainage, I recommend #11. For Eustachian tube support, #12 or #13 works best. Also keep in mind that results may be influenced by other external factors, such as thread count, moon phase, and the amount of recording space currently available on your DVR.

#1: The Continental

#2: The Lounger



#3: The Old Zinn's Wagon Shed

#4: The Half-In-Half

#5: The Catapult

#6: The Double Down

#7: The Cinnabon

#8: The Tree Mill Log Roll

#9: That's So Raven!

#10: The Inverse

#11: The Downhill Skier

#12: A La Derecha

#1: The Spork

#13: The Ostrich

#14: The Pierre

(This is used only when you have given up on the idea of ever winning the pillow war.

All restless nights lead to The Pierre.)